Friday, October 9, 2009

'Created To Be His Help Meet' by Debi Pearl- A Book Review

Ok, now let me say first that no nasty comments or "words of wisdom" about the Pearl's teachings will be accepted on here. I've heard all the arguments, and while they might have some validity, I've never actually heard the Pearl's side of the story, it would be unfair and unjust to condemn them at this time. I'm simply sharing what I have read, and what it taught me.

  1. Teachings and Theological Elements:
-> In the first few chapters, Mrs. Pearl starts with the heart, and the attitude of the reader. This is very wise and I believe the right place to begin, because with a good attitude, one is much more receptive to the Holy Spirit. Mrs. Pearl talks about being thankful, content in all things with what we have, to have joy, smile for our husbands and just enjoy the life God has blessed us with. She warns against bitterness, critical thoughts or "stinking thinking" as she calls it, and reminds us in those many times when we feel lost that the Lord promised to give wisdom to those who ask.
-> Mrs. Pearl teaches submission to your husband, even when it's hard and when it seems like he's making a wrong decision. She says instead of trying to change him, give it to God and let Him do a mighty work in your husband. There is a lot of other things, but in every element Mrs. Pearl talks about, she backs it up, I find, correctly with scripture.

2. Disputes and Disagreements:
-> Many women have said that they were "put off" of this book because of Mrs. Pearl's style of writing. I beg you to reconsider. I will warn you that you may be offended as Mrs. Pearl can be rather blunt, and at times she does resort to some rude names. I have never met this woman in person, but though I do agree that some of her writing does not become a lady, there is a lot of it that is tender and sincerely heart-felt. I just ignored what I felt was disagreeable, and learned what I could from her teachings.
-> Submission and Reverence in the face of Physical and Emotional Abuse: This is something I do not agree with. Though Mrs. Pearl (and her husband) have stated that the wife and children should be protected in a case of an abuser, they support the idea of staying and waiting it out, saying that reverence and obedience will change the man. I strongly disagree, as I myself have been in an abusive family till age 18. Obedience and honour do nothing to pacify or change a person, it is a problem within themselves that no one from the outside can help with by submission. This is a dangerous teaching, and it could be fatal. I would say that it is not expounded on much, and I would accept her teachings except for this one. An abusive situation is incredibly dangerous to a person physically, mentally, and emotionally. It should not be accepted or appeased by submission and reverence.

However, in the rest of the book Mrs. Pearl showed a lot of wisdom in her teachings, and much of it I'm sure came from her own experience- over 30 years of marriage! I would recommend her book to new wives especially, but given with a word of caution if they are in an abusive situation.


  1. Hi there!
    I just about missed your post due to being ill this past week. Feeling better but have a ways to go and am running through my blog buddies writings.

    I read the book about two years ago.
    It introduced me to the Pearl Family. I ordered some of Michael's tapes and appreciated what he said about sexual misconduct and not forgiving the offender. Scripture to back it up.

    The book by Debi was so different than anything I had read. I didn't agree with it all either.

    Am sorry about your hardship in your past. God bless you and heal you.

    I don't agree with sticking it out forever with abusive parents, spouses, environments. It took me alot of years to have peace about dealing with abusive people this way. I had to grow a great deal.

    Enjoyed reading your post!

  2. I learned a lot from Created To Be His Help Meet. Like you said, I may not agree with every point, but I do enough to call it one of my favorites!